I was halfway towards my 40 lb weight loss goal. But once you get closer to the finish line your body makes it more difficult for you to lose the weight as easily. Since I've never been skinny my entire life (only when I was 3) I didn't really know where I wanted to stop losing the weight.
I already had lost the 1st 40 lbs on my own and now I lost an additional 20.8 lbs (total over 60 lbs). After thinking about it I figured losing another 20 lbs would be good. After I got to that weight I would see how I felt about my body and if I was satisfied with it.
And they always say when you're losing weight you should visualize yourself in that goal body weight. This would somehow motivate you and keep you focused. But it was hard for me because I never was skinny. So instead I would visualize how I felt in that body versus how I looked. I would imagine myself with more self confidence as I walked around in public, when I tried on clothes I wouldn't have that fear in not fitting into the cute outfits I picked out, when I sat down I wouldn't have the discomfort in the dreaded "stomach roll" that popped out and me awkardly trying to cover it with my arm, sweater, pillow or anything within arms reach, and finally for once in my life I wouldn't have to think about that way I looked 24/7. Imagining myself in these scenarios definitely gave me more of a drive to keep on the road ahead of me towards the finish line.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
the next chapter
Wow!! Its been nearly 3 months since the last time I blogged. Been super busy but now I am going to be consistent with my entries (shooting to make them once a week). We'll see how that goes :)
I've just gotten back from Extravaganza and my life is changed (for the better). And I am feeling inspired :)
Now where I last left off..........
I hit my 1st 40 lbs goal and I was half way to where I ultimately wanted to be at. But I hit the dreaded plateau and I didn't know if I could hang on any longer. That was back around this time last year 2008. The holidays had past and I was at the point that if another miracle didn't have and something didn't changed I was going to slowly gain back the 40 lbs I worked so hard over 3 years to get off. I knew if I started to slip away I wasn't going to recover from it. I would probably end up gaining back the 40 lbs and then some :( And even thinking about it made me so scared.
Then the new year came January 2009, I was yet again on the same bandwagon as everyone else with my new year's resolution....losing weight and finding a way to make some extra money.
I was looking up on craigslist to find something part time around my current full time job. I was already tutoring 3 students at the time but I needed something more. And thankfully I stumbled across and an ad about becoming a personal wellness coach and working from home around my current schedule. So curiousity got the best of me and I responded. This is where my life changed to the next level.......
I met up with Kristi (she was the one who ran the ad) and we made arrangements to have a brief interview at her personal studio. So 2 days later I met up with her and that's where she told me about Herbalife. I've heard about it good and bad. I immediately thought "Oh Lord, what did I get myself into?!?!" I wanted to leave right then and there but Kristi was so nice and I didn't want to be rude. So I stuck it out and stayed. I was immediately not interested in the business aspect of it but she caught my attention when she started talking about a Weight Loss Challenge.
I knew I need to lose more weight, and I kind of felt self conscious around Kristi because I immediately thought she was only interested in my money and maybe she was thinking I was a long term investment because I was overweight and she was selling weight loss products LOL!!!
I was interested in hearing more about her Weight Loss Challenge. It was basically similar to the biggest loser show but mixed with nutritional classes. It was for 10 weeks (they already started that same week) and all you would have to pay is the one time registration of $35 and all of the money went to the cash prizes (which where awarded to the top 3 biggest losers in body weight loss percentage). Thats when the light bulb went off in my head...."hey I can lose weight and have a chance at winning the money. This would be a way to meet my resolution and what can be more motivating than money to lose weight???"
So I decided to join the weight loss challenge the following tuesday (the day of the inaugration) I started on the core program for Herbalife and I had 9 weeks to win.
I was ready and I for sure new this was my miracle. So I was dedicated each week, drinking my 2 shakes, eating my 2 snacks, & eating my 1 balanced meal a day. The priceless knowledge I got from the classes was so eye opening and it helped me each week towards my goals. I was actually eating more, having more energy, and for once in my life I finally felt healthy and not starving!!!
At the end of the challenge (9 weeks) I lost 20.8 lbs, 13 inches off my entire body, went down from a size 18 to a size 12, and lowered my body fat by 2 %. And......I won 1st place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The grand prize was $325!!!!!
For the first time in my life I actually met my resolution and I finally won something!!!!!!!!
I've just gotten back from Extravaganza and my life is changed (for the better). And I am feeling inspired :)
Now where I last left off..........
I hit my 1st 40 lbs goal and I was half way to where I ultimately wanted to be at. But I hit the dreaded plateau and I didn't know if I could hang on any longer. That was back around this time last year 2008. The holidays had past and I was at the point that if another miracle didn't have and something didn't changed I was going to slowly gain back the 40 lbs I worked so hard over 3 years to get off. I knew if I started to slip away I wasn't going to recover from it. I would probably end up gaining back the 40 lbs and then some :( And even thinking about it made me so scared.
Then the new year came January 2009, I was yet again on the same bandwagon as everyone else with my new year's resolution....losing weight and finding a way to make some extra money.
I was looking up on craigslist to find something part time around my current full time job. I was already tutoring 3 students at the time but I needed something more. And thankfully I stumbled across and an ad about becoming a personal wellness coach and working from home around my current schedule. So curiousity got the best of me and I responded. This is where my life changed to the next level.......
I met up with Kristi (she was the one who ran the ad) and we made arrangements to have a brief interview at her personal studio. So 2 days later I met up with her and that's where she told me about Herbalife. I've heard about it good and bad. I immediately thought "Oh Lord, what did I get myself into?!?!" I wanted to leave right then and there but Kristi was so nice and I didn't want to be rude. So I stuck it out and stayed. I was immediately not interested in the business aspect of it but she caught my attention when she started talking about a Weight Loss Challenge.
I knew I need to lose more weight, and I kind of felt self conscious around Kristi because I immediately thought she was only interested in my money and maybe she was thinking I was a long term investment because I was overweight and she was selling weight loss products LOL!!!
I was interested in hearing more about her Weight Loss Challenge. It was basically similar to the biggest loser show but mixed with nutritional classes. It was for 10 weeks (they already started that same week) and all you would have to pay is the one time registration of $35 and all of the money went to the cash prizes (which where awarded to the top 3 biggest losers in body weight loss percentage). Thats when the light bulb went off in my head...."hey I can lose weight and have a chance at winning the money. This would be a way to meet my resolution and what can be more motivating than money to lose weight???"
So I decided to join the weight loss challenge the following tuesday (the day of the inaugration) I started on the core program for Herbalife and I had 9 weeks to win.
I was ready and I for sure new this was my miracle. So I was dedicated each week, drinking my 2 shakes, eating my 2 snacks, & eating my 1 balanced meal a day. The priceless knowledge I got from the classes was so eye opening and it helped me each week towards my goals. I was actually eating more, having more energy, and for once in my life I finally felt healthy and not starving!!!
At the end of the challenge (9 weeks) I lost 20.8 lbs, 13 inches off my entire body, went down from a size 18 to a size 12, and lowered my body fat by 2 %. And......I won 1st place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The grand prize was $325!!!!!
For the first time in my life I actually met my resolution and I finally won something!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
my starting point
Everyone in my life (friends and family) always at some point made a mention about me losing weight. Like "are you sure you want that second helping??"..."lets trying something healthier"....."Let's go work out" My favorite was always "the look" I would get when I would get a second helping. But sure enough I never took their words or looks to heart. They were my friends and family, they were going to love me no matter what I looked like. But I must admit there were many moments when I would be a real bitch about it. I was sick and tired of hearing it and I know the only way for it to stop was for me to actually do something about it but part of me wanted to lose the weight and another part of me didn't want to. Of course I wanted to be skinny and healthy but at the same time I didn't feel like I was worth it.
For me losing the weight was a huge deal. It was going to take a lot of time. And sticking to a diet for more than 3 weeks was like pulling teeth. I knew it was going to be a journey. I felt like you told me I had to walk from California (my starting point) all the way to New York (my finish line), without a car, map, or GPS. Just me and my sense of direction. I didn't want to do it. I was scared.
Until back in August 2005: I went in for my monthly chiropractor appointment and my doctor sat me down....This was my turning point.
She told me "I know I am your doctor but I am talking to you as a concerned friend. You need to lose weight. You're only 19 and your going to have many health problems if you don't take care of this now."
The moment I heard that from her I felt so ashamed that I let myself get to this point. I seriously was about to cry right then and there. My face was all red and I was trying so hard to keep myself from breaking down in front her. All I did was just nod my head trying to say ok and left in a hurry.
So I did the obvious, I stopped eating fast food. Before all of my meals came from a drive-thru. I was too lazy to cook or even prepare anything at home. I made the neccessary changes: cutting my calories to 1,000 calories a day and working out 5 times a week (1 to 2 hours at a time). Within the next year and a half I lost 40 lbs :) But it was a major struggle. What helped me was changing my mind set. I had to have more patience. And I had to accept the fact that it was going to be a S-L-O-W process.
But don't get me wrong I was constantly HUNGRY!!! When I'm hungry I am not in a good mood at all. And of course I was tired all of the time. All I wanted to do as soon as I got home was go to sleep. I live within minutes from work and driving back home at the end of the day I would all most fall asleep at the wheel. Yes I lost the 40 lbs but it sure didn't look like I lost any weight. My clothes felt looser but I didn't see any drastic results. And people around my life would notice a little but not to the point where their jaw was dropping. And of course I wasn't happy yet. I wanted to be the "skinny minnie". But I knew it was going to take time.
The next year and half later was the toughest time for me......I hit a plateau. I was practically starving myself and going to the gym constantly (It was like my second home). But I still didn't lose any more weight not even a half a pound.
Every week I would weight myself I would get so frustrated. And week after week I would be scared. I went through numerous depressions. That point in my life I rarely went out and really didn't keep in touch with my friends. I pretty much kept to myself.
For me losing the weight was a huge deal. It was going to take a lot of time. And sticking to a diet for more than 3 weeks was like pulling teeth. I knew it was going to be a journey. I felt like you told me I had to walk from California (my starting point) all the way to New York (my finish line), without a car, map, or GPS. Just me and my sense of direction. I didn't want to do it. I was scared.
Until back in August 2005: I went in for my monthly chiropractor appointment and my doctor sat me down....This was my turning point.
She told me "I know I am your doctor but I am talking to you as a concerned friend. You need to lose weight. You're only 19 and your going to have many health problems if you don't take care of this now."
The moment I heard that from her I felt so ashamed that I let myself get to this point. I seriously was about to cry right then and there. My face was all red and I was trying so hard to keep myself from breaking down in front her. All I did was just nod my head trying to say ok and left in a hurry.
So I did the obvious, I stopped eating fast food. Before all of my meals came from a drive-thru. I was too lazy to cook or even prepare anything at home. I made the neccessary changes: cutting my calories to 1,000 calories a day and working out 5 times a week (1 to 2 hours at a time). Within the next year and a half I lost 40 lbs :) But it was a major struggle. What helped me was changing my mind set. I had to have more patience. And I had to accept the fact that it was going to be a S-L-O-W process.
But don't get me wrong I was constantly HUNGRY!!! When I'm hungry I am not in a good mood at all. And of course I was tired all of the time. All I wanted to do as soon as I got home was go to sleep. I live within minutes from work and driving back home at the end of the day I would all most fall asleep at the wheel. Yes I lost the 40 lbs but it sure didn't look like I lost any weight. My clothes felt looser but I didn't see any drastic results. And people around my life would notice a little but not to the point where their jaw was dropping. And of course I wasn't happy yet. I wanted to be the "skinny minnie". But I knew it was going to take time.
The next year and half later was the toughest time for me......I hit a plateau. I was practically starving myself and going to the gym constantly (It was like my second home). But I still didn't lose any more weight not even a half a pound.
Every week I would weight myself I would get so frustrated. And week after week I would be scared. I went through numerous depressions. That point in my life I rarely went out and really didn't keep in touch with my friends. I pretty much kept to myself.
my journey to weight loss and self discovery
My official first blog :)
the purpose of this weekly blog is basically for 2 things: one is to help me heal and act as some sort of self therapy and the second purpose is to hopefully inspire others and let them know they're not alone. So here we go.....
I've been overweight all of my life (since I was 3). My heaviest weight was 245 lbs back in 2005. I always knew I needed to lose weight. I've made many MANY attempts to lose the weight but I knew my weight loss journey was going to take time (at least a year). And for me I wanted to just wake up one morning and I'll be at my goal weight INSTANTLY. Yeah I know its not realistic but a girl can dream can't she?!?
Trust me I've done everything and I mean EVERYTHING. And I've failed many times, and each time I failed I lost a little bit of hope each time. It came to a point where I was running on empty in the hope department.
I knew it was going to take a lot out of me (time, patience, faith, determination, and strength) all of which I didn't think I had. And when it was one of those days that I felt I would have to "accept" that I am just going to be the "Fat girl" for the rest of my life and be ok with it, I would pray for a miracle to happen which would eventually lead to crying myself to sleep......aaawww....I'm starting to tear up right now :( this is hard remembering and going back to that point in my life. But I have to write about this, I think its the only way for me to acknowledge it and leave it behind me once and for all. If not its going to build up inside of me and I don't want that to happen. I need to deal with my past head on.
More to come on this.......
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